Feelin' Good.

I like Michael Buble. He sang a song to describe how I'm feeling these days.

Go listen to it. :]

Probably the most I’ve grown in a LONG time.

I really love reading the ramblings of other bloggers. The things they have to say, whether of any real relevance to the world or themselves, draw me in somehow. They kind of make me forget about myself for once to focus on the issues of elsewhere, also whilst sometimes being pretty philosophical on some cases. Like take for instance, a recent blog post of a girl named Mandy. She talks about Forgiveness with her mother, from the past as a child growing up without an “uncaring or crazy” mother that is said to wreak a bit of havoc in her life, compared to now as an adult who comes to accept what she is given. I’ll put a little quote here to exemplify:

*People don't change much and my gut told me it would eventually resurface. The fact of the matter is, given her erratic behaviors, I feel sorry for her. My mother has done and said some awful things. Short of ripping my beating heart out of my chest, I am certain no other pain inflicted in my lifetime has ever made me feel quite the way she has. I realize someone with her disturbing childhood and difficult transition into adulthood is emotionally incapable of functioning in a loving relationship with another human....NOW. As a kid, I just thought she did it on purpose.

And with that, it’s something that maybe I should try applying with my life. My friends, who grew up with something I hadn’t gone without—or maybe now they’re dealing with that I may just never understand; my step-mom, whose strange anxiety that creeps from behind that strict and sort of straight-faced exterior, a result from her childhood and a life time I’ll never know… There being many more examples that I could bring up, the point should be taken when I say that I realize how good I’ve got it now. I figure, who cares what happened in the past? At least for myself!

When I think about the fortunate disposition I’ve gotten to be brought up in now, I can sort of stop to feel sorry for those who haven’t been as lucky, without pitying. I can feel happy when something good happens to them without getting jealous. I can also comfort them now without involving my own personal emotions, just from knowing there will always be someone there for myself when I need to be dragged from the darkness; no one has to owe me back. There have been too many instances where the peeking cons from each of those past sentences have ruined my life in some way (in which I will not delineate, seeing as how it’s probably for everyone’s own good that I never let them resurface my conscious thoughts at this time), but I get now that I should learn from the mistakes and move on. Never look back. It makes me feel at peace with myself these days, despite some circumstances.

I can also thank my friends for that. They all know who they are.

Are you surreal?

You Are Outrageous

You are a bold and expressive person. You put yourself out there often and freely. You tend to think most about yourself. You can't help but look inward and introspect. You are open minded and tolerant. You believe strongly that people should be allowed to do their thing. You have the most fun when you're on a little adventure. You do your best to make each day special.

The Surreal Test

Blogthings: A Fine Line Between Insight and Stupidity

No more waiting - it's time to fly!

You know, I think even before I met you I was already some kid too emotionally attached to others. No... I know I was. If you could travel back in time, you would see that.

There have been some thoughts, as usual. I think now I should look for some kind of change, rediscover myself and who I am. Because, I mean, I've been wearing these rose-colored glasses for a long time, and I've idealized you enough to the point where (even the thought of) being without you is putting a lot of stress on myself; and I do apologize. I don't know if something like this would even make you budge or care, but to say that you're the root of my anxiety sounds pretty bad to me...

. . .

I don't want that. So I’m going to find myself.
No, not find myself. Create myself.
You'll like me a lot more, and I'll enjoy who I am without thinking it's because of you. But I do enjoy you, believe that I do. You're a ray of sunshine in my world.~

I just need to find all the others, too. I trust that you'll be there for me, right?
If so, I'm set. Knowing that gives me peace of/at mind.
I'm also here if you ever need me. :]

—




It's a messy declaration.
©2008-2010*tidesend

Quote of the whatever 1

"I think people need to mind their own business.
I don't care if it was heroin in my cup, it's in MY cup.
Fuck you."

Why is she awake?

Because I really wanted to try my step-mom's salsa.Sure, she can get annoying at times. But it's damned good. I live for it! 8]

Bras are deceiving.

Today I was at the mall with Dad and Brian. Having some difficulties with my (own) phone, I left it in the car and had received a call instead from my brother's phone. It was my mom, of course, asking about... bra sizes. The usual. She didn't exactly know that I was in the mall at the time, so she proceeded to ask me persistently to check my size. I seriously had no idea, to be honest. She always shopped for me so I didn't have to do it myself.

And usually, she got the sizes right.

So this was a first. But the fact that she had been asking me over and over to check my size kind of nerved me. I didn't want to have to run all the way to the bathroom on the other side of the mall to check when we were already close to the exit nearest our car, and leaving. I stuttered a lot and earned an annoyed tone from her.

That pressed on for a good two minutes and I gave in to checking.

But "no sirree!" did I run all the way to the bathroom. I instead decided that I would be checking in public,
in a store with very little people, and lots of cover to do the "procedure" safely. You know, without all the embarrassment. I unclasped the thing and went about pulling my arm out from the right side under my jacket. I pulled it out promptly to find it had no size printed on it. So I figured it might've been on the other side.
I pulled my other side and tried checking the size, not even thinking to put my right arm in to hold the bra up, and again I came to with no avail finding the size my mom had requested. This kind of pissed the both of us off. But only moments before I saw something out of the corner of my eye.

People were coming.

As you can imagine, I panicked. Running around without support made it difficult especially in the face of public.I turned red, and I never do that...
I realized then the silken tag was still on the strap under my jacket. I could have so easily just checked that from my shoulder in the first place!. I felt defeated; even more so at he lie it said that made me feel flattered at first. Worse after a moment checking back into reality: 34D

I'm a 36C.Oh this world is cruel.

The scientist.

*Taken years ago. We've been friends since forever ago.

T: I've got something important to ask you, Em.

E: Yes dear?

T: If 4 out of 5 people SUFFER from diarrhea... does that mean the fifth one enjoys it?

E: Hmm...That is a very important and thought provoking question...
Well. Speaking from past experience, I would say that fifth person does, in fact, like to poop. That or the fifth person doesn't have diarreah...

T: O__e
PAST EXPERIENCE?

E: Lol. xD
I kid! I kid...

T: So.
Say I freeze meat in January. The package has an expiration date of February. When I thaw it in June, why doesn't it remember immediately that it should have gone bad four months ago?
So many questions...! O__O;;

E: Well... Why are you asking such questions?

T: I'm bored?

E: Meat, like most kids, dont like to be told what to do. On a recent study, if you help the meat live past its expiration date (like kids past their bedtime) then it will taste almost as enchanting as the meat that comes from unicorn thighs.
...or so I've heard...

Ahh. Years later and Emily provides me with such stimulating conversation.

Images! D:

Today I logged onto the internet, found myself going onto blogthings again...
Here's a result from a quiz that I took. It's pretty easy to see what it was about by reading it:

You Have an Extremely Active Imagination
Your mind is vivid, lively, and colorful. There is a lot going on in your head.
You have the ability to make pictures and movies in your mind. You are extremely visual.

Your creativity knows no bounds. You don't put restrictions or limits on your thoughts.
You have a gift that other people wish they had. So exercise that imagination as much as you want!

With this in mind I was sent into a panic. Though I shouldn't have been worrying, I felt like something very wrong was happening at the time. Something terribly wrong. Something that involves… someone very important. Perhaps off to do something most should never mention in the public place.

Fuck.

Screw you, over-active imagination.

You’re killing me.

Today went well.

Running about the town often with a lovely family, only to be lost later between the hours 4pm to 6pm leads a person like me to run into very interesting people from time to time. This week’s winner is the random man I will call “Random Hair Guy”. I base him not on his looks, but rather this short instance in which I met him (mainly because he… was bald):

RHG: “Hi.”

T: “…?”

RHG: “Can I cut your hair?”

T: “Sure.”





New friendships, fun starts.
I got a free hair-cut. It looks nice. :]

A relic of the past. (1/18/2009)

Thinking of this blog made me realize that I have, for a long time, been neglecting my old one. I'm never going to bother with it anyway but somehow guilt has overtaken me and I feel the need to apologize for it. Seems stupid, but I guess that's just the way I am. :p
Old post? Sure. I need more like these, perhaps, in the future:

These last couple of weeks have been nothing but AMAZING! While they had their bads... I still loved it.

I made some friends, learned some recipies, learned a few useful fighting skills of Capoeira, was given another chance to be happy... about cerial, baked a cake, ate it, took a picture, deleted a picture, made a video, laughed at a video, got MAD at a video, thought a Zebra would make a perfect pet, considered BUYING a zebra, have some new favorite songs, decided that rainbow zebras have great gums and dance moves, danced around in the front of the lawn of some old cranky man in the middle of the night with the stereo turned on at


FULL BLAST

while screaming the Spaghetti-meatball song, taught a cat how to watch TV and eat a cheeto ON COMMAND, swalllowed a lollipop, got married to a lollipop, had children with it, lived a happy life, and died.

Haha.

Those last ones were FAKE!!! D:<

Anyways...

I wrote a story, stole a story (but never showed anyone), killed a bug, created a civil war with a bug, licked a bu- No way. I had people over for dinner, watched a movie, rented a movie, bought a movie, sold a movie, borrowed a movie-Never returned it yet- I drew a picture, studied a picture, screamed at a picture, accused a young child of being an alien, took a quiz on an alien, had ET show me how he did that shiny-finger thing, figured out he wasn't real, killed the producer (if he wasn't dead already) who made ET, made love to a rock, JUST KIDDING ABOUT THE ROCK, played with a knife, got cut by a knife, got poked by a scythe, played cards with an elderly woman (she beat me), played chess, lost once, won three times, but then figured out I couldn't play chess. Go figure.

Sometimes I wished I was a cat, but then I wanted to be a bat. I realized being a bat wouldn't be smart since reading the book Darkwing, decided to GROW dark wings, totally failed that... Kicked a person, got kicked by a person, screamed at them , they screamed back, made up with them. We became friends. (OH yes.)

Gained a hero, lost a hero, gained a few more. Same thing with friends. Told a secret (THAT WAS MINE), heared a secret, heard things that were shocking that I wasn't sure were secrets. I missed my shows, stopped watching them. Got fat, stayed fat, still fat, that makes me sad... ;_;

But nonetheless I'm listening to a pretty song. (If I missed anything, I'll add it all... LATER.)

Ciao to all you out there! A little randomness from Oni, Tisha, CatApple, Momiji, and the Sugary Speed-Demon herself!



You know you love me.

Just because.

I’m not one for finishing things. That being said, I’m not holding myself up to any expectations in keeping this blog updated. But then, why even bother with this if I know it’s going to be abandoned eventually? I can’t say I honestly have an answer for that.
However, a pattern keeps showing:


[Excuses pile up. My mind is reeling.
Creating, searching, and stealing--
Trying out them out; changing and rearranging.
Throwing them out thereafter like a pair of underwear you just bought but realize don't fit.]


I'm think I'm an abuser of ideas, in other words. I scrap them too easily and never give them a chance. A lot like I do with people.
Let's just say this is for Tierza.