Feelin' Good.

I like Michael Buble. He sang a song to describe how I'm feeling these days.

Go listen to it. :]

Probably the most I’ve grown in a LONG time.

I really love reading the ramblings of other bloggers. The things they have to say, whether of any real relevance to the world or themselves, draw me in somehow. They kind of make me forget about myself for once to focus on the issues of elsewhere, also whilst sometimes being pretty philosophical on some cases. Like take for instance, a recent blog post of a girl named Mandy. She talks about Forgiveness with her mother, from the past as a child growing up without an “uncaring or crazy” mother that is said to wreak a bit of havoc in her life, compared to now as an adult who comes to accept what she is given. I’ll put a little quote here to exemplify:

*People don't change much and my gut told me it would eventually resurface. The fact of the matter is, given her erratic behaviors, I feel sorry for her. My mother has done and said some awful things. Short of ripping my beating heart out of my chest, I am certain no other pain inflicted in my lifetime has ever made me feel quite the way she has. I realize someone with her disturbing childhood and difficult transition into adulthood is emotionally incapable of functioning in a loving relationship with another human....NOW. As a kid, I just thought she did it on purpose.

And with that, it’s something that maybe I should try applying with my life. My friends, who grew up with something I hadn’t gone without—or maybe now they’re dealing with that I may just never understand; my step-mom, whose strange anxiety that creeps from behind that strict and sort of straight-faced exterior, a result from her childhood and a life time I’ll never know… There being many more examples that I could bring up, the point should be taken when I say that I realize how good I’ve got it now. I figure, who cares what happened in the past? At least for myself!

When I think about the fortunate disposition I’ve gotten to be brought up in now, I can sort of stop to feel sorry for those who haven’t been as lucky, without pitying. I can feel happy when something good happens to them without getting jealous. I can also comfort them now without involving my own personal emotions, just from knowing there will always be someone there for myself when I need to be dragged from the darkness; no one has to owe me back. There have been too many instances where the peeking cons from each of those past sentences have ruined my life in some way (in which I will not delineate, seeing as how it’s probably for everyone’s own good that I never let them resurface my conscious thoughts at this time), but I get now that I should learn from the mistakes and move on. Never look back. It makes me feel at peace with myself these days, despite some circumstances.

I can also thank my friends for that. They all know who they are.

Are you surreal?

You Are Outrageous

You are a bold and expressive person. You put yourself out there often and freely. You tend to think most about yourself. You can't help but look inward and introspect. You are open minded and tolerant. You believe strongly that people should be allowed to do their thing. You have the most fun when you're on a little adventure. You do your best to make each day special.

The Surreal Test

Blogthings: A Fine Line Between Insight and Stupidity

No more waiting - it's time to fly!

You know, I think even before I met you I was already some kid too emotionally attached to others. No... I know I was. If you could travel back in time, you would see that.

There have been some thoughts, as usual. I think now I should look for some kind of change, rediscover myself and who I am. Because, I mean, I've been wearing these rose-colored glasses for a long time, and I've idealized you enough to the point where (even the thought of) being without you is putting a lot of stress on myself; and I do apologize. I don't know if something like this would even make you budge or care, but to say that you're the root of my anxiety sounds pretty bad to me...

. . .

I don't want that. So I’m going to find myself.
No, not find myself. Create myself.
You'll like me a lot more, and I'll enjoy who I am without thinking it's because of you. But I do enjoy you, believe that I do. You're a ray of sunshine in my world.~

I just need to find all the others, too. I trust that you'll be there for me, right?
If so, I'm set. Knowing that gives me peace of/at mind.
I'm also here if you ever need me. :]

—




It's a messy declaration.
©2008-2010*tidesend

Quote of the whatever 1

"I think people need to mind their own business.
I don't care if it was heroin in my cup, it's in MY cup.
Fuck you."

Why is she awake?

Because I really wanted to try my step-mom's salsa.Sure, she can get annoying at times. But it's damned good. I live for it! 8]

Bras are deceiving.

Today I was at the mall with Dad and Brian. Having some difficulties with my (own) phone, I left it in the car and had received a call instead from my brother's phone. It was my mom, of course, asking about... bra sizes. The usual. She didn't exactly know that I was in the mall at the time, so she proceeded to ask me persistently to check my size. I seriously had no idea, to be honest. She always shopped for me so I didn't have to do it myself.

And usually, she got the sizes right.

So this was a first. But the fact that she had been asking me over and over to check my size kind of nerved me. I didn't want to have to run all the way to the bathroom on the other side of the mall to check when we were already close to the exit nearest our car, and leaving. I stuttered a lot and earned an annoyed tone from her.

That pressed on for a good two minutes and I gave in to checking.

But "no sirree!" did I run all the way to the bathroom. I instead decided that I would be checking in public,
in a store with very little people, and lots of cover to do the "procedure" safely. You know, without all the embarrassment. I unclasped the thing and went about pulling my arm out from the right side under my jacket. I pulled it out promptly to find it had no size printed on it. So I figured it might've been on the other side.
I pulled my other side and tried checking the size, not even thinking to put my right arm in to hold the bra up, and again I came to with no avail finding the size my mom had requested. This kind of pissed the both of us off. But only moments before I saw something out of the corner of my eye.

People were coming.

As you can imagine, I panicked. Running around without support made it difficult especially in the face of public.I turned red, and I never do that...
I realized then the silken tag was still on the strap under my jacket. I could have so easily just checked that from my shoulder in the first place!. I felt defeated; even more so at he lie it said that made me feel flattered at first. Worse after a moment checking back into reality: 34D

I'm a 36C.Oh this world is cruel.